Emily Ann Lancman
A good five days passed by since the multi-Tails thing, and this being the understatement of the year, once you think you’ve seen it all, something else comes around and slaps you across the face.
I suppose it began when Tails and I returned from staying in my world, and once we walked through that portal, we were watching Sonic and Amy battle one of Eggman’s robots that shot out bombs that actually didn’t explode upon impact. I found that alone pretty odd.
A bomb landed in front of Amy, and she then pulled out her hammer.
“FORE!” She then whacked it away. It went straight for me and Tails, and we jumped out of the way.
“Hey, watch it, Amy!” I yelled out. “Try aiming for the bad guy!”
“Sorry, Em.” She shrugged. Another bomb then headed for her, and she then whacked it. It bounced off the robot and ricocheted right onto my head. After hitting my head, the bomb then blew up in the sky.
“Ow….” I put my left hand on top of my head.
Eggman, inside the robot, piloting it, then turned to Orbot and Cubot. “Faster, you bumbling bolt buckets! What’re you waiting for?!”
“You haven’t said the magic word.” Cubot replied.
Eggman glared. “Pawn shop.”
“We were honestly thinking ‘please,’ but that will work just fine.” Orbot then quickly placed another bomb in the pipe. It then launched right at Sonic.
Sonic then sped right to it, picking it up, and he then threw it right back into the hole the bomb was shot out of. The bomb then exploded, destroying the robot and throwing Eggman, Orbot, and Cubot right out.
“Yeah!” Sonic lifted his fists in the air. “Sonic takes on the Egg Tank!”
“Hey, Emily?” Tails looked up at me.
“Yeah?” I looked down at him.
“I’m gonna spend some time with Zooey. She said she can spend time with me once we’d get back.” He told me. “I might not be around most of the day.”
“Okay. Have fun and tell her I said hi.” I insisted. He then walked away. I didn’t see him until late that same night.
“Perhaps you should consider grenades that explode on impact rather than those that can be thrown back before blowing up.” Orbot then suggested to Eggman.
“You’re saying this is my fault?!” Eggman didn’t take it well.
“I would never say that,” Orbot replied, “regardless of how true it is.”
“You incompetent ingrates! You can find your own way back to the lair!” Eggman then summoned the EggMobile and flew away, leaving Orbot and Cubot behind.
A little later, Orbot and Cubot were seen in the village, sticking out their right thumbs. They were hitchhiking. The Gogoba chief then came by, riding his cart.
“Might we grab a ride to our evil employer’s lair?” Orbot asked.
“Of course,” the Gogoba chief replied, “but this wagon isn’t exactly water resistant. It’ll probably just sink to the bottom of the ocean, me along with it.” He guilt tripped.
“On second thought, we’ll find another ride.” Orbot second guessed himself. The Gogoba chief then left. Just after the chief, Soar the Eagle then came with his jetpack.
“Hey, Soar the Eagle,” Cubot looked up at him, “any chance you can fly us over to Eggman’s?”
“I could give you a ride,” Soar responded, “or I could give you something even more valuable. The motivation to do it yourself! Close your eyes, and imagine you’re at the lair, and your ride will manifest itself.” He then left, technically rejecting the request. But Orbot and Cubot did what
Soar said they should do.
A few short minutes later, Leroy, driving the mail cart, then passed by, going through the puddle of mud. The mud splashed onto both Orbot and Cubot. They opened their eyes again and weren’t even close to happy.
When they looked ahead, both Amy and I were seen walking to them. Amy had her hands on her hips as I just stood there.
“I can’t believe Eggman actually abandoned you.” Amy didn’t like this. “Why do you put up with this abuse?”
“Eh, he’s not so bad. Sure, he gets upset a lot, but deep down inside, he really cares.” Cubot replied.
“He just has a funny way of showing it.” Orbot added.
“Sounds like my oldest sister.” I crossed my arms.
Sonic then came over, driving his hover car. It was blue with some red and yellow details. It was like a motorcycle and Tails’ car combined. It’s called his Blue Force 1.
“Sonic,” Amy said to him, “how about giving these two a lift to Eggman’s Lair?”
“Yeah,” Sonic replied, not amused with this, “there’s a reason it’s called Blue Force 1, not Blue Force 3.” He then drove off.
Next thing they knew, both Orbot and Cubot found themselves paddling a raft all the way to Eggman’s Lair, using wooden oars and everything. And that made them both exhausted, along with the climb up the cliffs to get there. When they made it to the top, Orbot was dragging the raft as Cubot was carrying the oars.
When they got close enough, Eggman was seen in the main entrance doorway, and he had his hands on his hips.
“Where the heck have you two been?!” Eggman yelled.
“Oh--!” Orbot was about to answer.
“That doesn’t matter.” Eggman interrupted. “I need you to go to the village and get me about a hundred rocks for my evil garden.”
Both Orbot and Cubot just sighed from annoyance and exhaustion. They then paddled all the way back to the village.
Next time Amy and I saw both robots was just outside the square, later in the afternoon, and they were dragging huge sacks full of rocks. Neither of us liked the sight of this.
“Oh, this is pathetic!” I then said to both robots. “You really need to stand up to Eggman for all this you go through on a daily basis.”
“And if he continues all this, you two should go on strike!” Amy added.
“We would,” Orbot said, “but it’s not a good time right now. He really needs these rocks.”
“Of course, Rock Transport Bot might’ve been a better choice for this assignment, but Eggman’s the evil genius, not us.” Cubot added.
A timeskip later, Orbot and Cubot had come back to the Lair from the village, carrying the rocks with them. Eggman was resting on his couch, and he sat up when the robots came back.
“Hey, doc,” Cubot told Eggman, “we got those rocks you asked for.”
“Rocks? That was so 18 hours ago.” Eggman crossed his arms. “Get with the times, will ya?”
“B-But….” Orbot was hurt. “...we carried them all the way here….”
“And now you’ll carry them all the way back and return ‘em. Lazy good-for-nothings.” Eggman finished.
“We’ve been hauling grenades and rocks all day. We need a break, pronto.” Cubot then whined a little.
“You two can take a break. In the garbage compactor!” Eggman then said.
That made Orbot just drop his bag behind him. “That’s the straw that broke the robot’s back! We’re going on strike!”
Next thing they knew, Orbot and Cubot were just outside holding signs of the Eggman logo with a red line across it. They floated around.
“Androids! Annoyed! We’re not fairly employed! Androids! Annoyed! We’re unfairly employed!” Both repeatedly chanted.
Eggman then came out at one point after hearing the constant chants. He was annoyed.
“What’s going on out here? I’m trying to watch my stories!” Eggman asked, annoyed.
“We’re on strike!” Cubot replied, raising his open fist up.
“You two nincom-bots won’t even last a whole day out here.” Eggman then walked back in.
Orbot and Cubot continued chanting. “Hey hey! What d’ y’ say? Eggman’s treating us very poorly!”
Cubot then bowed his head down. “I wish Rhyme-Bot was here.”
Eggman wound up watching the chanting and strike from his lair thanks to his surveillance cameras.
“Stupid robots.” Eggman commented to himself. “Don’t they know they need me more than I need them?” He then pounded his fist, accidentally knocking over his mug of coffee. He looked, and he wasn’t amused. “Orbot! Cubot! Clean up this mess!” He then called out. He then caught onto what was really going on. “Oh, right. No problem. I have plenty of other robots.”
Soon enough, Burn Bot was seen trying to pick up the shards of the broken glass, but his claws made it just about impossible to do so. Eggman stood there, watching. After a long minute of Burn Bot trying, and ultimately failing, to pick up the shards, Eggman uncrossed his arms.
“You useless hunk of metal!” Eggman snapped. “What good is a destruction robot when it can’t even do simple house work?!”
Burn Bot, not taking it, then tore the apron off and threw it on the ground. A bit later, he was seen with Orbot and Cubot, joining the strike. Orbot and Cubot kept chanting. When Eggman came out, he saw the robots come over, and Orbot and Cubot blew plastic horns.
“Is that the best you can do?” Eggman challenged.
Burn Bot then blew his horn, more of his size, and huge flames shot out, scaring Eggman off his feet. Eggman shrieked and crawled back inside. I really wish I saw that XD!
Eggman soon found himself with Ballot-Stuffer Bot.
“Ballot-Stuffer Bot, clean this up!” He pointed at the mess.
Ballot-Stuffer Bot attempted, but all he could do was shoot out pieces of paper out, like it did before at the Awardy Awards two years ago. Pieces of paper were all over the place.
“Ballot stuffing is your answer to everything!” Eggman then yelled. “Get a new thing, y’ one-trick pony!”
Ballot-Stuffer Bot then joined the strike, shooting out pieces of paper with Eggman’s logo, crossed out with red marker. Eggman took hold of one, and he then crushed it in his one hand.
Eggman soon got Fire Bot to come and get it to do the cleaning, hoping for a better outcome, this time.
“Fire Bot, clean!” Eggman ordered. The Fire Bot then threw flames at the mess, burning the papers. That messed the whole thing up.
Eggman, acting fast, put the fire out and then crossed his arms. “What’s so hard about cleaning up this mess?!” He then bent down and demonstrated. “See how easy it is?!” He then dropped the mess back to its spot. “Now you try, you flaming piece of--!” Oh snap!
But then, every single robot that was under Eggman’s order went rogue and went on strike, making it a huge thing. And I guess that made Eggman decide to go a different route.
At the village, Eggman was standing on the stage in the main square, and a few people were standing in front of the stage, paying attention.
“At Eggman Industries, employees work in a creatively challenging environment while gaining access to many different parts of the lair. For example, the Rumpus Room, where you have very much room for….uh….rumpusing stuff.” He tried choosing wise wording but couldn’t.
People, quickly losing their interests, then walked away. That got Eggman to think some more about offers and word choice.
“Did I mention I offer ridiculously high salaries?” He then held out money.
That got the attention of three people. Mike, Fastidious, and another typical man.
“For all that wonga?!” The man was fascinated. “Count me in!”
“I love wonga!” Mike added.
“Actually, my wonga payment is low this month.” Fastidious also added in agreement.
“I know why you three pudding heads accepted now that I mentioned money, but you’re hired!” Eggman then announced. He then took them into the EggMobile and flew them all to Eggman’s Lair.
Much to his unawareness, Sonic, Amy, and I watched all that happen. We looked at each other for a split second.
I then looked at Sonic. “Where the heck is Eggman taking those guys?”
“We gotta stop him! Let’s roll!” He stood boldly and then cued the classic Batman whirl music. Awkward silence then came on for a solid minute.
What snapped Sonic out of it was a solid but somewhat gentle headslap from my bad right hand.
“Hey!” He jumped a little. “What was that for?!”
“Now, Sonic.” I crossed my arms. He chuckled from embarrassment.
After arriving at the Lair, Eggman, Mike, Fastidious, and the man walked through the rebellious robots and made it in the lair. And inside, the three men managed to clean the mess very much easily. That made Eggman smile.
After a few minutes, Sonic, Amy, and I made it to the lair, and the robots kept striking, unphased.
“Alright,” Sonic said, preparing his fighting stance, “time for some true blue heroing!”
Amy then grabbed his wrist, stopping him. “No! You can’t cross a picket line. We’d be betraying these poor robots and undermining their fight.”
Sonic looked at Amy. “But we have to rescue those villagers!” He argued. I nodded in agreement.
Eggman and the men then came out, silencing all the strikers.
“Step aside, ya bums! I’m taking my new workers out for some ice cream for getting a job well done.” Eggman announced.
“You never took us for ice cream….” Cubot got sad.
“You never earned it.” Eggman responded.
“Wait,” Sonic tried catching on, “so these guys are working for you?” He then sped to Mike and put his hands on his shoulders. “Mike, are you really working for him? Blink twice if you’re in danger.”
Mike didn’t even blink once.
“Oh….you don’t even blink, do you?” Sonic then let go, catching onto the real situation. “Alright, if everyone’s happy, I guess there’s no need for a rescue.” He then sped off. I then just shrugged and left the scene myself, using my magic angel wings to fly. Amy was left behind.
In the village, Eggman and the men were at the ice cream cart.
“How can I help you?” The ice cream man then asked.
“Actually, I can’t make up my mind. I don’t know if I should flip a coin or play eenie-meenie-miney-mo? Or should I do a blind taste test?” Fastidious tried deciding.
“You don’t have to do any of those things.” Eggman told him. “Just destroy the cart and steal all the ice cream you please.”
“Actually, it would make more sense to steal the ice cream first and then destroy the cart.” Fastidious blurted out.
“Why destroy the cart when we already have ice cream?” Mike shrugged, questioning Fastidious’ suggestion.
“You call yourselves minions?!” Eggman wasn’t at all happy with this. “At least the robots do what I say. Usually….”
Back at the lair, the robots were just about feeling like they were done with being on strike.
Cubot dropped his sign. “This is hopeless….”
“It’s not that bad. Don’t panic.” Amy reassured.
Misunderstanding, Cubot then ran around, panicking.
Amy sighed from annoyance. “I said don’t panic.”
Cubot then calmed down. “Sorry. I misunderstood.”
“Face it. We’ve been replaced. It’s the scrap heap for us for sure this time.” Orbot was sad as well.
“Don’t give up.” Amy encouraged. “You can win this! You just need to hang on!”
“I have a better idea.” Cubot then said. “Let’s practice our gravelling.”
“How’s this?” Orbot then suggested. “Oh, Dr. Eggman, your mastery of villainous acts is surpassed only by the gloriousness of your mustache, the hair of which has never clogged a drain.”
Amy facepalmed, groaning.
Back at the village….
“I said attack that guy!” Eggman was getting increasingly frustrated at the men. “Burn his cart to the ground!”
“Or….you can have free ice cream if you don’t attack…” The ice cream man got a little nervous.
“No,” Eggman shook his head, “that doesn’t work. It’s not the evil way.”
“Well, it is extortion.” The ice cream man pointed out.
“Technically, it’s not extortion because you’re offering. I’m not demanding. I guess it could be bribery, but that’s evil on you, not me.” Eggman then said.
“I vote on taking the bribe.” Mike then blurted.
“Vote?! You don’t vote!” Eggman yelled. “It’s one of the basics about the leader-minion relationship.
“Hey! Egghead!” Sonic saw the commotion as he and I came to the scene very quickly.
“Gah! It’s Sonic and Emily! Minions, attack!” Eggman ordered.
“No way!” The first man crossed his arms. “They’d both totally kick our butts.”
“You know dern well we could. I see someone catches on around here.” I smiled.
“Not that we would, but we definitely could.” Sonic put his hands on his hips.
“You’re the worst minions I ever had!” Eggman said angrily to the men. “And believe me, the bar’s already pretty low. Now, ATTACK!” He ordered again.
The men looked at both myself and Sonic. We looked back at them. We then gave the Death Stare at them, and our eyes flashed gold. Mine and Sonic’s both. That intimidated the men, and they all ran off.
We then looked at Eggman, with our eyes still glowing gold. We both smiled.
“Adjou.” Eggman then said, and he ran off, screaming.
Sonic and I then exchanged a high five.
“That’ll scare him off.” Sonic smiled.
“You’re catchin’ ont’ m’ magic, Sonic.” I let my eye turn back to green. His did the same. We kept our smiles.
At the lair, a few minutes later, Amy looked up and saw Eggman in his EggMobile, arriving without the men.
“Okay,” she said to the robots, “he’s coming. Now remember; stand strong. Don’t back down.”
“Everyone ready to fall to his feet and beg for mercy?” Orbot turned to the other robots behind him.
“YEAH!!” They all agreed.
Amy’s ears bent down. “Or there’s that.”
Eggman then landed his EggMobile, and he came running to the robots.
“I dunno what I was thinking!” Eggman almost cried. “Please come back! All is forgiven!” He begged.
“Not so fast, Eggman.” Amy stood up straight. “These robots are prepared to strike continuously for months if they have to.”
“What do I do to get you to come back to work?” Eggman asked, lowering his voice.
“Well….” Orbot eventually responded, “let’s see….We want casual Fridays, paid maternity leave…”
“And we get to choose the radio station every other Tuesday.” Cubot finished.
“Every third Tuesday, and you’ve got yourselves a deal.” Eggman altered.
“Wait.” Amy butt in again. “The robots also want regular tune-ups, high grade motor oil, use of the EggMobile for over-water errands, and you have to treat them in a respectful manner.”
“Now, let’s not be unreasonable.” Orbot commented. “We’re willing to scratch the final demand if you’ll agree to everything else.”
Eggman then came and reached out his hand, shaking Orbot’s hand. “Done and done. Now get inside, you digital dunces. You’ve already wasted enough of my time today.” He then walked inside, with the robots slowly following.
Amy then looked around as soon as she realized she was all alone. “W-Wait….how’m I supposed to get home? Can I have some….ugh!” She then dialed a number on her communicator. “Emily, I’m stuck at Eggman’s Lair. Can you come and--!”
Just then, I teleported to where Amy was, with the help of my magic. I got the call.
Amy looked at me. “What took you so long?”
“Oh, all Sonic and I had to do was use the golden-eyed Death Stare to scare the living crap outta Eggman and his former minions. I take it that he took the robots back?” I said.
“Yup. Now, how’re we gonna get home?” Amy asked me.
“Good thing you called me.” I smiled, and my eyes glowed gold again.
Next thing we knew, Amy was riding on my back, and my white magic angel wings were flapping a few times before gliding, and we flew back to Bygone Island. Amy was having such a blast! Well, so was I.
When we landed on the beach, I let her off my back, and she slowly stopped laughing.
“That was totally awesome, Emily!” Amy was surely happy and thrilled. “How long have you been doing this?!”
“About a year and a half, if you’ve been paying attention.” I replied as my angel wings disappeared.
“We should do that again some time. Real soon.” Amy kept her smile.
“We really should. I surely had fun flying with ya.” I agreed.
We then came and shared a warm hug.